Meaningless Manners: how are you

Hey, how are you? It’s the worst type of sms I can get. The minute a friend messages or calls just to say how are you, the clock starts ticking. This friendship is going to end or either I’m going to take enough space that it stagnates in vacuum. Why do I detest this statement so much? Mainly because no one has ever really reached out just to check on how I am.

Except for my dad, everyone else’s how are you is usually just a disguise for I am lonely, gimme attention! But I have no time for that. As per the chemistry I share with a person, I give them the adequate attention. And if indeed I need to check up on someone, I give it at least 15 days minimum since I have heard from them assuming we’re the kind of friends who actually meet at least once a month. 

Then it makes sense to say hey, how are you? But random people or long lost friends/acquaintances emailing or messaging to check on how I am makes me think I need to yell from rooftops—I have devoted parents, adoring siblings and loving cats and I am busy with my writing, my poetry, my social work and yoga—I am fine. But, if you want to call me to touch base or share something in your life or ask for a favour—then be direct. Don’t hide behind the how are you.